I started watching this story on Jon Stewart at 8 pm, and at that time, this was just a really hilarious comic piece about a high-ranking politician going totally AWOL. By the time Rachel Maddow rolled around, Mark Sanford was discovered at the Altanta airport, returning from a very poorly-planned, impromptu trip to see a woman in Argentina he is apparantly having an affair with. So by the time you read this - who knows? Maybe we’ll find out he has a whole other family down there, with four daughters and a poodle named Fifi (not terribly unlike a subplot in a Sidney Sheldon book I read many moons ago)

I’m going to jump on this bandwagon right now, before everyone with a Twitter account and their grandmother has weighed in - I feel bad for the guy.

I shouldn’t - he’s cheated on his wife, he left his kids on Father’s day to be with his girlfriend in Argentina, AND, most important of all - this is a Republican so dedicated to party politics that he would rather turn down federal stimulus money than assist his fellow South Carolinians in the the midst of the worst economic meltdown since the Great Depression.

From the sounds of that, Mark Sanford should be the poster boy for arrogant jerk.

Except it’s pretty clear from his pitiable press conference that he’s not. Or at least not just an arrogant jerk. Look at the guy!

This is a dude who seems like he went to sleep reasonably happy one day, woke up in a completely different one, and has no clue how he got there.

What’s notable about the media reaction to all this isn’t so much how a guy with such a bright future ahead of him had an affair and “blew it all up” to quote one pundit, but that he was caught being…well… so emotional and flaky about it. How dare he appear human on television, admit to crying, when a sterile statement from his chief of staff would have sufficed? How are you supposed to mindlessly bleat stupid party lines after you’ve shown your human side?

And you know what else? He doesn’t actually sound that repentant! He’s sorry he hurt people, like his wife and sons and staffers, but the guy isn’t sorry he hopped a flight to BA to be with his darling after his wife kicked him out of the house.

Obviously, this is a guy who did not “have it all” to quote another pundit. And we’re not talking about a sleazy affair with an intern or who hired a hooker, or going to public bathrooms in search of a thrill. This was obviously an unstudied move - with no premeditation or planning - and the press conference delivery was heartfelt, if not polished. The “crime” is notable only for its humanity, its all-too-familiar ring of man’s inner struggle against society’s expectations gone wrong.

It reminds me of a recent case of a very popular Latino priest based in Miami - Padre Alberto (who also happens to be quite the looker) - who was caught… wait for it… cavorting with a woman on the beach. A woman, who it had been revealed, was his girlfriend of many years. Was teh Catholic church relieved that he’d been caught with a consenting adult rather than molesting a minor - the church’s usual MO? Of course not! The man had to choose between the little lady and the Catholic church and Padre Alberto is now an Episcopalian.

I wonder how much longer before we acknowledge how much hyprocricy hurts us all by enabling us into believing other people’s lies and therefore making us feel doubly guilty for our desires, controversial and upsetting though they may be? Isn’t honesty also an important Christian/Muslim value - and wouldn’t it include honesty to our own selves?

168 million in bonuses, out of US$700,000,000,000.00 of funds that are otherwise going down the black hole of mismanagement (and let’s not even talk about the billions upon billions “misplaced” in Iraq, and the billions more soon to be ”misplaced” in Afghanistan).

AIG bonuses - THIS is what has finally ignited Americans’ populist wrath! 

Those of us Commies who have been watching for 8+ years (I only cared about boys and and how many of them might be interested in kissing me during the Clinton years, so sue me) have been watching and waiting, waiting and watching for that moment we knew had to come. And now, here it is!

I have to say, it’s a little anti-climatic, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I will not be critical of the American people’s choice of vehicle for their outrage - it’s as good as any, really. Even one dollar in bonuses for helping to bring the world economy to its knees is one dollar too many, so to the American people, I say: YAY YOU!

However, being a Commie, I worry (we tend to have a pessimistic streak, but as luck would have it, pessimists are having a moment right now). I worry, amongst other things, that maybe the forest may be lost for the trees, and a huge opportunity to rekindle interest and nurse back to life a creature facing extinction might be lost, that creature being dialogue.

Now, as evidenced by debates involving Sarah Palin, not just any dialogue will do - you have to put the word “meaningful” in front of it.

And in the tradition of mindless blogging, I will go on a seemingly unrelated tangent now: Hookers.

More specifically, Eliot Spitzer and hookers.

Even more specifically: Eliot Spitzer, hookers, Eliot’s wife Silda, and Vogue.

Blame Vogue for getting Eliot Spitzer back on my mind, or rather blame Vogue’s whitewashed, kiddie-gloved, fairy dust-sprinkled and utterly hypocritical March 2009 feature on his wife, and how Eliot’s penchant for blondes-by-the-hour nearly derailed this Southern Belle’s philanthropic campaigns (and no, we are assured, this princess ain’t a pushover. And she has a weakness for Petit Bateau tees and chocolate cupcakes. No, she doesn’t. I made that up, but only because I don’t have the actual article before my eyes at this very moment so I can transcribe the nauseating drivel verbatim, but hopefully you get the picture)

I read this article, and I worry. Then I read a piece like this by Mr. Spitzer, about how AIG’s bonus payouts are just the tip of the iceberg, and how instead of focusing on symbolic gestures (in this case, ”clawing back” the ill-gotten spoils from the recipients, which has effectively happened already), that perhaps we should realize that this bonus thing is a distraction from the real crimes that festered in the absence of regulations and created this environment in the first place. Doing that will surely be more complicated, not quite so black-and-white, and, more importantly, require us to think. A lot.

The article sure made me think - about Eliot Spitzer, Silda (yes, they are still married), Vogue, and hookers.

I wondered what kind of warped world would be so hypocritical so as to force a competent, vocal, thinking (at least this is the impression I got from reading this article) dude to resign due to something completely unrelated to his ability to carry out his duties as governor of the state of New York.

You might argue that by employing prostitutes, he was breaking the law. But when even the “good” guys are breaking the law, maybe it’s time we rethink the law. And while we’re at it, score politicians on how well they protect us from companies like AIG, and not on where they prefer to put their dicks.

While we’re on the subject of laws, there ought to be one against using a scandal-celebrity to sell your magazine, and then not having the balls to ask her tough questions on why she doesn’t seem too bothered by her husband’s preference for ladies of the night. After all, if the man’s wife doesn’t mind, why should we?