You know you’ve been living on a lost little Caribbean island for far too long when…

…you can correctly spell Caribbean without the use of Spellcheck (can’t say the same for Mediterannean… oops, Mediterranean).

…you don’t think there’s anything unusual about being kept waiting at the grocery check-out line (or Burger King, or the post office, or the vehicle registration department) while the clerk recounts her weekend in minute detail to the woman in bright green curlers in front of you.

…February becomes your favorite month.

…July makes you want to join an Inuit tribe in the Canadian Northwest Territories. Permanently.

…late night drunken conversations on the beach with fellow islanders invariably degenerate into where-were-you stories of Great Hurricanes Past sometime around 4 a.m.

…you don’t understand why your friends and family back home don’t share the same enthusiasm for Great Hurricanes Past stories.

…you get used to new acquaintances wondering if you’re not an Interpol’s Most Wanted international money-launderer instead of the lowly accountant you claim to be (would you be wearing an Old Navy t-shirt and GAP jeans if you were? Honestly…)

…you consider changing your official occupation from ‘finance professional’ to ‘bed and breakfast operator’ to suit your friends’ and family’s vacationing needs (just kidding friends and family… he, he)

…and the Number One sign you you’ve been living on a tiny Caribbean island too long is: When a friendly passerby greets you with ‘wag wan?’, you smile politely and say: Ery’tin ay’ry!

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• The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
• Please do not be daunted by this 1,400-page magnum opus. It bears little resemblance to its recent film adaptation, and is quite possibly the best, most entertaining piece of fiction ever written.
• The Blue Castle by Lucy Maude Montgomery
• Made me fall in love with a nature guy called Barney who wears overalls and drives a jalopy. Now that’s talent, Ms Montgomery! A short-and-sweet ode to the wilds of northern Ontario, this is the ultimate in feel-good literature.
• Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
• See title of my novel. Need I say more?
• The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
• Shockingly homoerotic considering it was written in Victorian times. An all-too-relatable and disturbingly sinister fable that will stay with you long after that last page.
• Watermelon by Marian Keyes
• Frothy, frivolous, will nab you on the first page and keep you there till the very end. Ms Keyes said of this novel that it “wrote itself” and you’ll believe it when you read it. One of her best.
• Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
• Time travel? WWII? Scottish lairds? Are you kidding me? (What the heck is a laird anyway?) Trust me my friends, this one defies categorization but will leave you wondering what hit you…and running to the bookstore to buy the next five in the series. Hardcover.
• Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
• You knew this one would make it here… As much as I love Emma, Elinor, Marianne and Fanny, of all of Austen’s wonderful stories, this is the one that just keeps on giving.
• Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
• Let the vivid descriptions of these catty Japanese beauties getting dolled-up in priceless kimonos and erotic hairstyles whisk you away. The raunchy sex talk isn’t bad either. Sooooo much better than the movie.
• The Beginning and the End by Naguib Mahfouz
• Haunting. A perfect example of writing the heart and soul of a culture without once resorting to clichés. Prepare to be depressed. Or have the next book on my list handy. (This is a classic Egyptian author who received the Nobel prize for literature. He is best known for The Cairo Trilogy, three superb novels dealing with Egypt’s growing pains as witnessed by a traditional Egyptian family)
• Jemima J by Jane Green
• A truly modern Cinderella story in all of its clichéd and deliciously satisfying glory.
• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
• More feel-good goodness. A less-than-average Jane makes it in a world of nineteenth century Angelina Jolies. What’s not to love?
• The Importance of Being Earnest, also by Oscar Wilde
• Oscar is as kind to the female sex as you would expect a man forced to marry to keep up appearances and then jailed for a torrid homosexual affiar to be. Still, to say this play ‘sparkles’ with wit, humor and scathing social observation wouldn’t do it justice. Did I mention this is a play? I don’t usually do plays but this work is in a class all of its own.

Keep checking this space for more Fun, etc… to come!

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